Facebook is one of the many public tools I see used to impose personal opinion on others. It’s sad, since the term on Facebook… people that you see… are considered ‘friends’. Those very ‘friends’ can sometimes be extremely judgmental with their own standpoint and opinion.
Duncan, my brave, wise, silent ponderer.
We received the unexpected call from the Scottish Terrier Rescue, just prior to April 1, April Fools Day. Truth was, this was no joke. We drove an hour and a half to go see him, knowing full well, we’d be riding home with this 4 year old little boy.
Shaved due to his matted coat, first glance, he didn’t appear to be anything special. He smelled a bit like medicine. I grabbed the leash, and walked along side of him, as if it was something we’ve done a million times. We walked the edges of the rest stop, our meeting place. Definitely, he was coming home. We could love this boy. He was little, compared to our other Scottie, and he had a bigger head than we were used to. Kinda funny, in a pitiful way, it was definate he was going to be our new family member.
I’m doing a study…and as I write, things come up that are very intriguing and I frankly would love your opinions. We all deal with things differently. How do YOU deal with these things that I’ll be writing about?
Women, how do you handle it when you have found out you’ve been deceived by your partner? Is it something you can forgive and forget? Does it eventually fade off and you get over it? Do you hold resentments?
Do you find yourself building blocks between you and your partner, especially when it comes to ability to be close? Intimate? I mean, once he’s really taught you that he is not trustworthy…whether it be he cheated, lies about his money, looking at things or doing things on the internet that is not acceptable, maybe you’ve found he’s not at work when he says he is?
Are you able to talk about it? Does he get defensive? Do you watch and observe until you have built your case enough that you are confident you must leave him?
What keeps you staying…when you find he’s done something terribly deceitful? Is it that you are scared to be on your own? Are you worried about money? Children? Once trust is broken, is there some method you use to ‘fix’ it?
These are things that I am curious about. Matter of fact, from my own resources and observations, there are women that choose to stay, some choose revenge. Some choose to become victims and lose themselves and their self esteem right down the sewer.
What do you do?
I am an Evolver. That may sound fancy, may even sound really impressive. I personally don’t mind the title, merely because it allows me to feel creative….because that is how I feel about the word “Evolver”.
My personal definition of an evolver is that I can begin a task then maneuver on to another. For instance, I may be on my pathway to the front door to find the leashes for my dogs to let them out, and as I am headed toward the leashes, I see a few dishes that may need to be loaded into the dishwasher, then, with my dogs half heartedly excited (because they know I am an evolver) I may then find that I need to quick multi-task on my continued journey, and make a diversion to the laundry room because I spotted dust on the dining room table, therefore needs a quick swipe with my swiffer. By this time, my poor babies, Duncan and Bo, are sitting down…waiting patiently, as they see I also needed to grab the extra of the two pair of shoes I left on the floor near the laundry room, and place one pair on my feet, then place the other pair on the stairway to go up next time I make a trip up…then, finally, I reach for the leashes. I find this very efficient, because not only have I now put away the dishes, dusted the dining room table, and placed my cluttered shoes on the stairs to go up, I am now succeeding in the original task, which was to let the boys out.
I watch as Bo plays ball and tosses his toys like he’s two years old. It defies logic, that he’s not going to be in our lives much longer. He just turned 8 years young. Bo still eats, chews on his boney, chases after loud motors, and aggressively tells motorcycles how he really feels.
When we take him out to play in the back yard, it’s as if he’s uncontrollably addicted. True to his childhood characteristics, he is vocal, talking to his ball as he bosses it across the grass, shoving it with his nose to force it our way. It’s a mixture of grumbling and half bark. I’ve never seen him jump higher, run faster, or act younger. This boy LOVES a ball.
Yet, in the quiet moments…those moments when he’s sleeping, or walking extremely slow behind me on a leash, I realize….it’s an invisible reality. His tumors are growing, his peeing is getting weaker, and he’s having difficulty maneuvering in certain positions. My boy has TCC (Transitional Cell Carcinoma). This invisible disease is taking over his insides. Continue reading
Rejuvenating from a hectic or stressful day is imperative. However, I find the definition of rejuvenating is different for many of us. For me personally, I require literal down time. Whether it be sitting in silence, maybe taking a walk in nature and calming my mind and body, or isolating myself just until I can come back out of my ‘shell’ and re-join what else life throws at me.
There are those that prefer to ‘down time’ themselves by going outside and doing yard work, or physical labor, others rejuvenate in an opposite manner, and relax being in a crowd and socializing. Continue reading
Bo is cooperative, so willing to please, and extremely loving. Great Scottish Terrier, and an amazing best friend. He is always willing to love, and be loved. His nature is calm and tender. Yet, he can be that ‘stubborn’ terrier when he wants to be! Especially when a loud motor is going by on his walk….
Such a sweet spirited boy, he doesn’t balk at having to be leashed, even though we all know, both he and his ‘rescue’ brother, Duncan, would absolutely LOVE to run free!
Leash laws here in North Carolina are enforced, especially at the beach. Many of them won’t allow you to bring your dogs on the sand at all, but fortunately, we’ve found a few, such as Topsail Beach, and Surf City. We were blessed with a week at Surf City in August. Jimmy and I rented a place that allows our four legged family members. What a pleasant time of stunning weather, beautiful sunrises and sunsets. Even better, were the quiet moments, listening to the waves rush in and out, the warm summer breeze, and our boys sitting at our feet, watching nature’s entertainment of seagulls and sand critters. Continue reading
Taking the time to just ‘breathe’ and stop the amazing overkill of ‘busy’ is very difficult. Especially as a woman. Everywhere I look, there is something to DO. The floor needs sweeping, the marks on the walls need cleaning, there is laundry, the drive to work, the work day, the computer mis-hap, the checkbook needs balancing, bills to pay….. I really believe we have a never ending list of constant busy-ness. I have to literally force myself to STOP …just so I can breathe in the moments we have remaining with our guys (the ‘guyz’)….
The “GUYZ” are Bo and Duncan. They are SO dependent upon us…for everything. They need us for dinner, to let them out to potty… they need us for getting the itchy place on their back. Our loved ‘guyz’ need their ‘parents’.
What do we get back? Pure love. Unconditional, major, happy dance kind of love…especially when we ask them about going for a walk, or when we enter from having been gone. Oh, and the MORNING love is amazing. Continue reading
We heard from the vet today that it may be as quick as three months. Could be more than that..each day is a gift.
Trying to keep his routine as normal as possible, there still is an awareness inside that each event, each interaction, even his dinnertime is more meaningful.
A wonderful lady in the waiting room was with me when Bo’s ultrasound was done, which subsequently led to the diagnosis of malignant bladder cancer, was a secret angel, I know it. Total stranger, I don’t even know her name. She asked me when I came back from having my ‘talk’ with the vet specialist, ‘was everything alright’. My eyes teared up as I responded ‘not really’. She immediately came to me and gave me a big hug. Her own dog limping with three legs from recent knee surgery.
After she and her husband had their consult with the vet about her dog’s knees, she made her way back to the waiting room, just to sit next to me. She wept with me as if it were her own four legged friend, and spoke gently about our love for our fur children. One of the most meaningful things she said was “The good news, is HE doesn’t know he’s sick. You have the knowledge, but he doesn’t”. Continue reading
There are occasions when we think we can tell the “Universe” or “God” what we think is supposed to happen. We push, we shove…something doesn’t 100% feel right, but we do it anyway. We try to swim upstream, try to maniuplate situations so we can have it “our” way, only to find out, we may…just MAY…be ‘barking’ up the wrong tree. So to Speak…or So we think….
Thus this title. Thus my Redirect. Here all along I thought I’d be writing about my experiences as a long-time hairdresser and Salon owner, about my client’s lives, and about my own very colorful life, and intertwine stories among stories to create a great self help for others…and now, as of today, I feel the joke is on me. Instead, I feel a clearer picture…and it isn’t about helping OTHERS at all. It is about helping myself….
You see, I have a lovely life, like everyone, been through my share of struggles, and my share of ups and downs….emotions, illnesses, etc., Haven’t we all? I mean, really. HAVEN’T we ALL. But, today….I sit here….having just moved from our home of 5 years, to the much more meger townhome I had purchased for myself before I met Jimmy, my husband, and realize it isn’t about the house, it isn’t about the job, it isn’t about the car….it is the life’s core message…it’s about love, Continue reading