We heard from the vet today that it may be as quick as three months. Could be more than that..each day is a gift.
Trying to keep his routine as normal as possible, there still is an awareness inside that each event, each interaction, even his dinnertime is more meaningful.
A wonderful lady in the waiting room was with me when Bo’s ultrasound was done, which subsequently led to the diagnosis of malignant bladder cancer, was a secret angel, I know it. Total stranger, I don’t even know her name. She asked me when I came back from having my ‘talk’ with the vet specialist, ‘was everything alright’. My eyes teared up as I responded ‘not really’. She immediately came to me and gave me a big hug. Her own dog limping with three legs from recent knee surgery.
After she and her husband had their consult with the vet about her dog’s knees, she made her way back to the waiting room, just to sit next to me. She wept with me as if it were her own four legged friend, and spoke gently about our love for our fur children. One of the most meaningful things she said was “The good news, is HE doesn’t know he’s sick. You have the knowledge, but he doesn’t”.
How true. How amazing. Her voice resonates in my mind daily. He doesn’t know that he’s got cancer. My knowledge is what is so hurtful. My understanding. Bo just thinks his life is normal. Except…he pees longer.
Each night is special. Bo and Duncan have routines. They both watch as their ‘Dad” packs their night-night boneys with treats, then Duncan makes a running start and ‘plunges’ into his ‘condo’. (Condo is his little doggie bed), and Bo gets lifted on to the foot of our bed, on his special blanket. There, he intensely works that treat out of the boney, until it is as far as he can get it. Satisfied, he rolls on his side to relax.
Just before Bo gets put in his own ‘condo’, Jimmy reaches down to pull him up into his arms and hugs him. Bo rests his head on Jimmy’s shoulder, as trusting, as limp, as peaceful as any Scottie can possibly get, in his ‘daddy’s’ arms. It is as if he is floating in a cloud of trust and security.
I watch, as Bo drifts off to sleep, safe, loved, content. I hear his breathing, watch as his chest moves up and down in rhythm. This is our boy. He is so precious.
There are a few different songs about being in the Father’s Arms. This one had a chorus that meant something to me. Which is what I feel what I watch Bo resting so peacefully in the arms of his father:
Come, my child
Come to my arms, I’ll give you rest
I’ll never leave you
I’ll show you my faithfulness
I want to protect you and hold you
Let me surround you with my love
My eyes can see deep inside you
Let me bring healing to your heart
Come, my child
Come just as you are.
Another Lesson from Bo. He rests, so trusting, peacefully in his father’s arms. What a perfect site, and another amazing realization of what we too should be doing. Resting in HIS arms. We all have such crazy, busy, overwhelmed lives with so many issues, stress, expectations. Our human knowledge, sometimes is what is so hurtful and can bring so much pain.
Letting go and resting peacefully in His arms.