November, 2003. The spontaneous decision to turn into the nearby clinic to grab a flu shot was mindless . After all, I had gotten a flu shot many times before. Isn’t that what all americans do? Every doctor, every nurse, every minute clinic, you see flu shot stands at the state fair, you see them ready and willing to stab you with a quickie every where you turn. It just seems like we are to get in line, like robots… with the expectation that we’ll hop on the bandwagon…..or is it more like sheep to the slaughter?
I was recovered from a mild cold, and didn’t worry much about running into the clinic near my salon, and ‘checking it off my to do list’. They handed me the ‘standard’ paper to sign. After a few ‘John Hancock’s” I had without thought signed my permission, and all recourses away. If you read the fine print, you’re literally signing away your life. 15 minutes later, I was out, done. On with my day.
I watch as Bo plays ball and tosses his toys like he’s two years old. It defies logic, that he’s not going to be in our lives much longer. He just turned 8 years young. Bo still eats, chews on his boney, chases after loud motors, and aggressively tells motorcycles how he really feels.
When we take him out to play in the back yard, it’s as if he’s uncontrollably addicted. True to his childhood characteristics, he is vocal, talking to his ball as he bosses it across the grass, shoving it with his nose to force it our way. It’s a mixture of grumbling and half bark. I’ve never seen him jump higher, run faster, or act younger. This boy LOVES a ball.
Yet, in the quiet moments…those moments when he’s sleeping, or walking extremely slow behind me on a leash, I realize….it’s an invisible reality. His tumors are growing, his peeing is getting weaker, and he’s having difficulty maneuvering in certain positions. My boy has TCC (Transitional Cell Carcinoma). This invisible disease is taking over his insides. Continue reading →
Rejuvenating from a hectic or stressful day is imperative. However, I find the definition of rejuvenating is different for many of us. For me personally, I require literal down time. Whether it be sitting in silence, maybe taking a walk in nature and calming my mind and body, or isolating myself just until I can come back out of my ‘shell’ and re-join what else life throws at me.
There are those that prefer to ‘down time’ themselves by going outside and doing yard work, or physical labor, others rejuvenate in an opposite manner, and relax being in a crowd and socializing. Continue reading →
Taking the time to just ‘breathe’ and stop the amazing overkill of ‘busy’ is very difficult. Especially as a woman. Everywhere I look, there is something to DO. The floor needs sweeping, the marks on the walls need cleaning, there is laundry, the drive to work, the work day, the computer mis-hap, the checkbook needs balancing, bills to pay….. I really believe we have a never ending list of constant busy-ness. I have to literally force myself to STOP …just so I can breathe in the moments we have remaining with our guys (the ‘guyz’)….
The “GUYZ” are Bo and Duncan. They are SO dependent upon us…for everything. They need us for dinner, to let them out to potty… they need us for getting the itchy place on their back. Our loved ‘guyz’ need their ‘parents’.
What do we get back? Pure love. Unconditional, major, happy dance kind of love…especially when we ask them about going for a walk, or when we enter from having been gone. Oh, and the MORNING love is amazing. Continue reading →