The first half of his life is a mystery. We’ll never know what he experienced, or how he interpreted it. The wounds, the hurts, the sadness…. loneliness. Yet, we do know the second half of his life. It was with US.
April Fools Day, the road trip to meet him was long and tedious. Upon arrival, amidst his shaved body and sores on his skin, I saw into his transparant eyes. He was a keeper. A deep soul. That boy named Duncan was to come home with us that very day.
Four years of life had gone by previous to our meeting. We never knew what he had been through, nor will we. Often I envisioned he was stuck in a cage for those years. His habit was to have his head propped up on a wall, or he’d secure himself under the four legs of a chair, so he still had the sense of familiar four walls, invisible or not. I suppose my interpretation could be wrong. Nonetheless, someone had given him up, and he was mine to love, learn, and befriend.
I watch as Bo plays ball and tosses his toys like he’s two years old. It defies logic, that he’s not going to be in our lives much longer. He just turned 8 years young. Bo still eats, chews on his boney, chases after loud motors, and aggressively tells motorcycles how he really feels.
When we take him out to play in the back yard, it’s as if he’s uncontrollably addicted. True to his childhood characteristics, he is vocal, talking to his ball as he bosses it across the grass, shoving it with his nose to force it our way. It’s a mixture of grumbling and half bark. I’ve never seen him jump higher, run faster, or act younger. This boy LOVES a ball.
Yet, in the quiet moments…those moments when he’s sleeping, or walking extremely slow behind me on a leash, I realize….it’s an invisible reality. His tumors are growing, his peeing is getting weaker, and he’s having difficulty maneuvering in certain positions. My boy has TCC (Transitional Cell Carcinoma). This invisible disease is taking over his insides. Continue reading →
Taking the time to just ‘breathe’ and stop the amazing overkill of ‘busy’ is very difficult. Especially as a woman. Everywhere I look, there is something to DO. The floor needs sweeping, the marks on the walls need cleaning, there is laundry, the drive to work, the work day, the computer mis-hap, the checkbook needs balancing, bills to pay….. I really believe we have a never ending list of constant busy-ness. I have to literally force myself to STOP …just so I can breathe in the moments we have remaining with our guys (the ‘guyz’)….
The “GUYZ” are Bo and Duncan. They are SO dependent upon us…for everything. They need us for dinner, to let them out to potty… they need us for getting the itchy place on their back. Our loved ‘guyz’ need their ‘parents’.
What do we get back? Pure love. Unconditional, major, happy dance kind of love…especially when we ask them about going for a walk, or when we enter from having been gone. Oh, and the MORNING love is amazing. Continue reading →